Sunday, December 11, 2016

All These Scenes Are Pretentious

on your soapboxes pontificating
talking at each other without listening
picking out whatever suit fits the best
choose your stance
let the tailor figure out the rest

accusations leading to fights
arguing without any insight
two alike minds alone in a room
can't find compromise
looks like we're all doomed

if they could just agree none of this matters bu

the rhetoric passed through groups with
a million faces all warping their truths,
it's all just to feel right, it's all just to feel right
stepping on each other for a righteous high-ground
enjoying the view while looking down,
it's all just to feel right, it's all just to feel right

can't shake this feeling this all stems
from an inferiority complex
all this crying, the victimization
a sorry attempt at domination

majority rules, now you're the new lords
death to those find fault with your royal concord
spilling their blood, a demonstration of strength
another casualty on your path to omnipotence

if they could just agree none of this matters but

the rhetoric passed through groups with
a million faces all warping their truths
it's all just to feel right, it's all just to feel right
stepping on each other for a righteous high-ground
enjoying the view while looking down
it's all just to feel right, it's all just to feel right

well guess what?
they won!
while you were all at each others throats!
they won!
while climbing social ladders!
they won!
while silencing your neighbors!
they won!
and they'll win again and again and again
and they'll win again and again
and they'll win again and again and again
and they'll win again and again
so get used to losing

Thursday, December 8, 2016

ode to my punk rock queen

I've been told before life doesn't get easier,
couldn't understand and never bothered cracking the meaning,
the script continues, playing itself out
to late nights, drugs, booze and spilling soul
until it the haze and static clears and no one is left,
there's no scene to accompany my madness,
all things go the way of the wind
and we're left with nothing but the characters of ourselves,
where the most paper-thin parts of a personality
are louder than the noise we make,
discs forever locked within jeweled cases
forcing us to stare at the cover,
messages diluted in the stream of time
collected and bottled to be sold back to you
making any point you've ever made futile

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

hidden doorways and other worlds

rainbow walls, parallel on peripherals,
splitting the once whole into
a right and a left and between them
an infinite middle- it draws you in
crashing into the oncoming kaleidoscope,
spiraling through the opened door,
passages to other dimensions,
not linear but everywhere,
flat to protrusive pathways
blending with its surroundings

sit back and close two of your eyes,
drift and let go,
be lost,
understand that you don't understand

stop searching and allow yourself to be found by
incomprehensible beings conveying existence
through not any distinguishable language- but feeling,
open yourself up and hear their message;
everything is moving to a rhythm,
it's a beautiful dance
usually still for our own sake,
beneath our solid, concrete logic
reminding us to just be

Thursday, November 17, 2016

what are we if not habitual?

I can't help but to pull loose threads,
tugging away until
it all falls apart,
stripping to expose what's underneath,
the truth with nothing left to hide behind

I catch myself apologizing over feelings,
spitting them back into bottles
until they're long past expiration
where they become stale, flat and leave
a bitter taste

these thoughts will turn to madness
as paranoia grows like tumors in my brain,
pressure points exploding spilling blood
through eye sockets until all I see is red

Do we choose who we are or
has science determined that for us too?

Each time I see a path split into two-three-four
there is a compulsion to take the usual route,
I struggle but am still pulled breaking nails on ground
anything to resist going down same muddy roads,
same tired destinations

it feels good to let go, drift to your own will,
to jump in puddles and roll in the mud,
but it's messy, and no one wants you
tracking that shit in their home,
I tell myself that
next time I'll take the cleaner option

They say hindsight is twenty-twenty
but when was the last time they had an eye exam?
parts of the story is missed from fogged lenses,
the rest is haphazardly pieced together
creating whatever lullaby that helps them sleep tonight

i'm a five-star man

there was a time I thought bonds truly existed,
intangible tethers tying people together,
you could take that leap of faith trusting them to catch you if you fall,
but when you do ya hit the ground hard, no safety net to save you,
it might have taken some time and effort to construct,
why go through the trouble when you're not them?

it's like a blindfold slipped and I caught everyone laughing,
it was a big joke, a lie taken seriously,
there's a game being played on all levels,
we only interact when we're on the same step,
if you show a weakness, you lose,
and if you talk about the game at all,
you're expelled

you're only wanted until you're not needed anymore,
I know this because I lost that magnetic energy
that could pull you in from across the room,
I fell from grace
and no one batted an eye,
the polarity only reversed
as everyone was pushed away,
leaving no one with the grating torture of
focusing on something other than
themselves

Thursday, November 10, 2016

might is still right

twisting proverbial elbows into submission,
locked down and bent breaking under the weight
between the mighty and their righteousness,
the thought this is different from shifts of planes,
from the concrete to the abstract,
new boundaries and rules to abide by,
buried underneath what we convinced ourselves of,
building blocks into the tallest tower until it dawns on no one 
that they've only changed their course to parallel avenues
driving towards the same destination,
that were somehow more civilized
than apes pounding their chests
roaring the loudest,
tossing our metaphysical shit at each other,
climbing hierarchies for alpha dominance

Thursday, November 3, 2016

bury, pretend, forget

the social life is a masquerade
where we piece together our costumes
in fogged mirrors, blurred reflections,
for people whose strange faces are pixelated,
their mouths make noises that are familiar
but not really understood,  launching
empty vessels into one-ear-out-the-next
with no give or take, only meaningless
diplomatic voyages to save reputation,
suppressing the desire to express a true emotion
out of fear of breaking our chains,
they keep us connected- and enslaved,
better to comply than to become a
pariah

these tales are written in hard cover books,
we' bind each other to these pages,
trapping ourselves into
nonsensical, one-dimensional characters,
hypocritical by nature,
diluting any personal dialogue
with borrowed rhetoric,
it becomes us inside-and-out
making it easier to accept our roles
rather than accepting our
mental prisons,
life behind bars without
checking if cell door was ever locked,
afraid of the possibility it never was

the unfathomable horror of letting go

it's contagious,
it spreads its introverted madness
crippling the spirited, suffocating the boisterous,
unaware of its source- even the sickness itself,
the healers assigned to help are only trained
to return the sickly to their treadmills,
not to find the antidote, not to
rid people of the contagion,
just stooges sick with the same disease,
strengthening it with ignorance,
letting it amass so everyone is infected,
where being healed is to become sick,
making the side-effect of the cure-
isolation;
our greatest-inherent, instinctual fear

Thursday, September 29, 2016

more money, more suits

money on the mind, it's a sickness
becoming more common with time
infects the brain, killing creation
an android with written formulas
pretending to be alive
emulating emotions,
convincing itself of the lie

you're lacking oxygen from
your tie being pulled too tight

before ya write anything down
yer thinkin' about the fame
so eager to sell your soul
before an offer is even made
the devil has your contract
all written up, just sign
yer gonna have to pay the toll
more money, more suits in control

you lost the- you lost the-
you lost the point of it all
you lost the- you lost the-
you lost the point of it all

there's no winning,
they already have you trained,
so you're also my enemy
you are my enemy

you're lacking oxygen from
your tie being pulled too tight
suffocating whatever life was left inside

before ya write anything down
yer thinkin' about the fame
so eager to sell your soul
before an offer is even made
the devil has your contract
all written up, just sign
yer gonna have to pay the toll
more money, more suits in control
more money, more suits in control
more money, more suits in control

coma

where does the time go?
generations and still no one knows
caught up in a landslide,
picking up speed 'til the day you die

existing in a constant haze,
can't seem to differentiate the days,
calculating time with milestones and deadlines,
anything to preoccupy our minds

they say ya hit the peak and it's all downhill
ya gain momentum but that's part of the thrill
wishing you could just go back,
derailing yourself off this one way track

we need to wake up from this coma
perception can always change,
destroying the illusions we create,
we need to wake up from this coma
the times will always change
move on from the past and break the chains

the nostalgic living dead,
breaking the natural order,
when prolonging the existence of
what has been drained of life,
birth is the only thing that dies

we need to wake up from this coma
perception can always change,
destroying the illusions we create,
we need to wake up from this coma
the times will always change
move on from the past and break the chains

bougie bitch

you're a bougie bitch
coming in with the tide
you're a bougie bitch
choosing a new neighborhood to gentrify
moving into your new high-rise

you're a bougie bitch
making the world a better place
you're a bougie bitch
fighting for dog parks in empty space
a great spot for your dog to piss
 
ya take a stand,
as long as it's a social trend,
so easily bought
no introspective thought,
you are the man's best friend

it's a pompous culture trickling down from the unseen
like a leech you attach yourself to the bourgeoisie
you've become corrupted
it's the sour blood you drink

you're a bougie bitch
riding a linear course
you're a bougie bitch
ya think the world is only yours
finding island resorts to endorse

you're a bougie bitch
following high society
you're a bougie bitch
nose so high in the air you can't see
the insects of poverty

so callous and cold,
you never dare break the mold,
just an automaton,
with shallow convictions,
you've traded in your soul

it's a pompous culture trickling down from the unseen
like a leech you attach yourself to the bourgeoisie
you've become corrupted
it's the sour blood you drink

children of the night

they found another one last night
flesh ripped from bone with claws and bites
 
they tell themselves anything they think is rational
animal attacks or something else logical
 
it's a shame what happened to ol' Jones
massacred right there in his home

they tell themselves anything they think is rational
animal attacks or something else logical

anything... to help them sleep at night
anything... so they can feel alright
anything... to keep reality in tact
anything... so this nightmare ain't true

ahh-oooooo
they are the children of the night
their song chilling to the bone
ahh-oooooo
they come alive in the moonlight
don't be caught outside alone
they're on the hunt tonight

warnings brushed off as delusional
ignoring the signs right in front of them all
 
they can't handle the madness that they've all seen
deranged stories of man turning into beast

it's an affliction haunting mankind
clinging to beliefs while losing their minds

they can't handle the madness that they've all seen
deranged stories of man turning into beast

anything... so they can sleep at night
anything... to make them feel alright
anything... to keep reality in tact
anything... so this nightmare ain't true

ahh-oooooo
they are the children of the night
their song chilling to the bone
ahh-oooooo
they come alive in the moonlight
don't be caught outside alone
they're on the hunt tonight

all on your own

as if I didn't know the point you're making,
the core of your argument, the way you're thinking
 
I've heard what you said, responding without listening
you're making no sense, you lack an ideology
it explains your hypocrisy

no matter what is said,
you run it through your filter,
sorry but I can't help you,
you need to do this
all on your own

there's no getting through
doors locked and shut,
sealed from the inside
there's no getting through
your clouded view
too in denial of who you are

you sit on your throne lording over the rest of us,
ego out of control, it's why you're so depressed

please get over yourself, stop talking with pretentious tones,
drop your sense of superiority, the complex blinding you
to your own stupidity

no matter what is said,
you run it through your filter,
sorry but I can't help you,
you need to do this
all on your own

Monday, September 5, 2016

damned if ya do...

damned if ya don't...

sometimes just knowing a shitty person
places you in these dilemmas

they attach themselves to you like leeches,
sucking as much life as they can,
cursing you when you run out of blood

they force you to be like them,
think of yourself before anything else,
pluck them from your skin and let them die,
because no matter what you choose,
it's going to be wrong,
the only option they provide


why do the smallest dogs have the loudest bark?

the demonstration of strength is a funny thing,
only certain people at certain times under certain
conditions are ever allowed to display it,
some people not at all,
others can show it with impunity,
equality is a thin phony veil over
what true power is and how we're supposed to act,
the shifting leverage through new laws and rules,
it covers the fact that there is always power and
it will never be equal,
just the weak cannibalizing each other
at sad attempts to taste strength,
protection for the smallest dogs to bark the loudest,
while any real power is awarded to
people who collect the most paper

or is it the ones making it?

Sunday, September 4, 2016

lock me away

I go through periods where I stop trying altogether,
during these times I realize how little I actually like
anyone,  how I'd rather be left alone up in my tower,
not being forced to do anything,
no tedious conversations,
no one to accuse, guilt, or use me,
my energy is mine,
not to be stolen, not to be soured,
let me be, I want to stay here,
the only place I'm allowed to be myself,
I think it's best for everyone,
after-all, it's been proven time and time again
it's where I'm preferred- and
we can all find solace in my
isolation

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

peasants can never be kings

there is a man poking you with a stick,
obnoxiously prodding and jabbing,
it begins to feel more like a sword,
the irritation consumes you as he stabs,
you stand up to confront him,
but see no sword, no stick- in fact,
he isn't even aware you

so what was stabbing at you?
the confusion invites anger,
his presence alone becomes
daggers to eyes, acid to eardrums,
the idea of him ignoring you is overwhelming
as you look down from your throne,
he has no place in your court
and is cast into the dungeon

you prefer him there, where he is isolated,
you feel more tranquil in knowing
he spends the night lying on cold stone
than your luxurious bed ever could,
you visit him from time to time,
to pontificate, for pretentious conversations,
and all seems right in the world while
he is controlled- and- beneath- you

Friday, July 8, 2016

come in, make yourself at home

a visitor enters my den,
says he's glad to see me and takes a seat,
begins to ramble incoherently
jumping from stone to stone
avoiding hot lava or deep waters,
only he sees the tether binding
ideas lost in space,
so far gone they've lost the trajectory
for anything remotely sound,
flowing fast-forward,
I can't seem to find the pause button,
I interject only to send him
down another path of fragmented thoughts,
his mind hitting light-speed,
something his mouth never developed,
when he's done he gets up and shakes my hand,
"Good talk", he says and leaves the room.
I never found it that easy to compliment myself,
but I'm willing to try anything once.

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

the doctor is in

 come to me,
    I'll mend your wounds,
       wipe the blood clean from your
                                        soul,
        forgive the inevitable sting
            as the infection is cleansed,
             it causes misplaced anger
           toward the one (ad)dressing
                      your source of pain,
          each pull of the thread
                      helps with closure,
            reconnects itself with time,
          bandages wrapped meticulously,
                gently, to not cut circulation,
                   followed by a kiss
                      to make it all better,
                                         and,
                 if I did my job correctly,
                        the scar left
                           will barely be visible
                                             at
                                               all.

Thursday, June 23, 2016

the feel-good generation

all aboard the progressive party train
bound to the same tracks we've always ridden
slowing for no one who might want to hop off,
build up some courage and take the dive,
break a few bones and be bruised
cause the train is going one way,
one speed, your either with it or
left behind

we figured out the bad guys in society;
the bullies, homophobes, racists, etc.
good job! we did it!
when there's no more left
we'll create some more by repeating the cycle,
forming connections which cut through ideas
forcing dots to find points
making the line between them unforgivably
stubborn

the golden rule:
go against your better judgment

but what does it matter when we entertain ourselves
with five second non sequitur videos,
one after the other until
we lose our sense of guilt but hold onto our
depression(the illness) which is buried deep;
we all seek to become the superior victim

the most popular girl in school asked
the biggest NERD in class to prom!
she could've picked anyone but she picked HIM!
she really did something great...
and I guess he's not so bad as long as
he's being like you

it was a better time when she would just tease him
rather than parade him around,
a new status symbol that uses
another human being as its foundation,
learned behavior that trickled down
the ever-flowing fountainhead of manipulation,
a strange impulse to mindlessly mimic,
oblivious to what she's doing, what she's seen,
and what's been done to her,
but if everyone's happy,
what's the difference if  he's being used?

this is a new time,
it's the feel-good, no-good,
pretentious generation,
saying all the right things
doing them in all the wrong ways,
sparing one group of responsibilities
silencing others,
whining, screaming, pouting,
temper tantrum throwing generation,
tears answered through legitimization,
the social injustice never ends,
not until we're all terribly equal,
the new voice will decide what's normal,
using the same old mechanisms as before,
sitting at the big kid's table- taking their place
through non-violent PR assassinations,
the peace generation ignoring their development of war,
launching their passive aggression at foreign thoughts,
progressive mobs lynching disparity,
still seeking father's approval,
stepping over the weakest of his sons for attention,
this is the new generation,
the feel-good generation,
the same generation

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

blind to beauty

the limited perception of the one-track mind;
where philosophical encounters are no different from
interacting with fifth dimensional creatures,
lacking ability to understand words or meanings,
without roots they offer nothing back while
looking for other means and ends
unlike the tree drawing water from soil who
bears fruit to reciprocate,
to give back the knowledge ingested

too much sugar-coating leaves teeth rotten,
unable to chew on the apples dropped,
the selfish is still driven to pick every last one
and without a means to carry the load they are
left to rot on the ground and, of course,
it's the tree's fault they couldn't be enjoyed,
becoming maggot filled,
inedible, left to rot,
it returns to the earth
with the help of insects and bacteria-
the tree sustains itself

there's always a larger image that isn't often seen,
mostly ignored, they are
blind to its beauty,
it's bigger than any individual,
making the short-sighted
angry and insecure,
hateful to the thought of something
they couldn't conquer

Friday, June 3, 2016

this is what death looks like

sometimes...
I wish I was naive,
I wish I just believed everything
the way we were taught to,
thought anything in front of me
was the cat's meow,
every mundane tv show,
every half-cocked movie,
every duplicate video game,
every goddamn trendy fucking thought,
I think I'd be a lil' more successful,
the saying- "in an insane world..." yada yada,
how could I be considered creative
if I'm living the quote?
when everyone is so used to consuming
shit

Friday, May 13, 2016

isolation

I must have never given
anything,
or I have nothing left to give,
maybe no one needs help
and without needing something
there isn't a reason to make contact,
maybe I don't have what they need,
I sit alone pondering this

no incoming distress signals as
I go solo on tasks meant for groups,
not able to remember
what my day-to-day usually is,
when the last time I've seen
another living soul

the list has become shorter
and the ones remaining becoming
more distant,
can't help but to wonder if
this is how everyone else feels,
just a normal thing that never
registers as a problem,
complacent being far away from each other,
a place where only
small talk and bullshit can reach,
a place where I once called acquaintance
has become best friend,
or vice versa-

I've been told I look
too deeply into everything,
I try to believe it,
it's too depressing not to,
but I can't shake the feeling
it's just me

Monday, May 2, 2016

you can't win

I use caution,
she sees it as negativity,
I am slapped

I make a light-hearted joke,
she sees it as cruel,
I am slapped

she wants to know how
I'm able to read people,
how I know who they are,
I teach her my methods,
she reacts poorly and
I am slapped

she asks for my advice,
the unpopular truth,
I give it already knowing
I will be slapped

I show my weakness,
that I am only human,
I am not slapped,
but savagely
beaten

pushed to my limit,
I finally slap her back,
she indignantly responds,
"You can't use your words?"

Thursday, March 31, 2016

shed some stress

feeling some pressure
it's caving in
the thread is loosening
getting harder to contain

gimme some mercy
have mercy on me

feeling some anger
it's an avalanche
hitting like rolling thunder
trying to remain content

gimme some mercy
have mercy on me

I hope things start making sense
trying my hardest to pretend
looking through a different lens
trying my hardest to shed some stress

feeling the madness
I cannot change
a disease there is no cure for
I'll take the blame
gimme some mercy
have mercy on me

I hope things start making sense
trying my hardest to pretend
looking through a different lens
trying my hardest to shed some stress
I hope things start making sense
trying my hardest to shed some stress
I hope things start making sense
trying my hardest to shed some stress

Saturday, March 19, 2016

we dove into hell

screeching madness,
chaos ensues as sirens sound,
a simple routine gone
horribly wrong,
fireworks explode around me,
all I can smell the gunpowder
and blood,
the ground quakes
with violent tremors
reminding us
we don't belong here,
the constant buzzing in my ear
from the drum popping, booming
thunder rattling to the core
makes it hard to understand
my comrades, leaving me in a
daze

meeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeee
 LET'S MOVE!

I run while bullets whiz by,
crashing into the bodies
of the impending horde,
through the flames and
bone-chilling screams,
we make our escape

we dove into hell-
we may have made it
off that rock, but
we didn't survive

Thursday, March 17, 2016

the core of loving others

if it's one thing I can say
I've learned about love,
is people are oblivious
to what is most important,
past all of the
presents,
the eloquent words spoken,
compliments
and
promises,
any grand gesture...
it is time,
if they are frugal with their
time,
they do not love you,
worst part of all is sometimes
you're not the only one
they are fooling,
so it is imperative that
you learn to look past
the pageantry
and remain focused on
the scenario

Friday, March 4, 2016

faith over reason

I know what you want
feelin' kind of scared
the veil seems to be weakening
I know what you want
it says it on your face
conflicting with the words that you speak

and I try to keep some faith

I know what you want
feelin' kind of scared
keeping your motives unclear
I know what you want
you know it's not fair
keeping me locked out in the dark

and I try to keep some faith

but this cross you been carrying on your back
I can see it's hollow as it starts to crack
but I continue to betray myself

I know what you want
your image at stake
fearing revelations, yeah
I know what you want
feelin' kind of scared
calculating every move

and I try to keep some faith

but the words you preach are falling kind of flat
and the pages from your book were all left blank
but I continue to betray myself

my breath wasted on blank stares
left stagnant, lost in the air
I'm over playing blind
I'll just go deaf, a fair trade for my eyes

and I'll try to keep some faith

but the tales you weave are seeming contrary
to what I hear versus what I see

these ideas of you I've had
spent my time fighting them
turns out they're all real
you held the key to set me free
just watched me suffer instead
'cause you didn't care
giving into my instincts
picking up on subtle things
I'm accepting who you are
I don't need you to know I'm right
I don't want you in my life
I choose not to care
I no longer betray myself

Monday, February 29, 2016

enjoy ruling your world

a life spent walking on the red carpet
rolled out by peons who go unappreciated,
heels spotless, never touching dirt,
it becomes impossible to understand
the mud-smeared faces looming back,
their gestures long forgotten,
so easily replaced-
and this is life after-all right?

self-absorption blinds any deed
of those who drown in puddles
protecting feet from life's unpleasantries,
made as ordinary as taking
honey with tea,
it's easy to walk over them
with the rug covering their body
muffling their cries as they become
just another portion of the path of bones
that snap-crackle-pop with each step;
sweet lullaby for the insecure calloused

pity is feigned as long as distance is kept,
the illusion must remain and
the hierarchy preserved,
there's only one who walks the path
while the others clear the way,
if the mask slips then order will collapse,
causing true nature to gush from every orifice
tainting what was once considered pristine
revealing to all the gruesome, writhing monster
they had once worshiped

Sunday, February 28, 2016

modern slave

I don't wanna be
I don't wanna be like you
how's that box ya live in?
is it keepin' ya safe?
does it keep you warm throughout the night?
you're gonna suffocate, let me reiterate,
the walls are closing in, air is getting thin
if asphyxiation's not yer thing
then it's 'bout ya escaped

am I wasting my life away
or am I the one who's living?
I saw a bit more of the world
while you were on a leash all day

why don't ya tell me
what'd ya do today?
made someone else rich slaving yourself away?
now use your tokens to buy your prize
the toys distracting your eyes
while livin' in a cage, skipping meals everyday
lack of sleep, lack of thought,
brain barely functioning at all

am I wasting my life away
or am I the one who's living?
I saw a bit more of the world
while you were on a leash all day

I don't wanna be a modern slave

Saturday, February 27, 2016

s.s. bullheaded

welcome aboard
you're with the bullheaded
lock it up, keep it steady now
just listen to me and
everything will be just fine
plowing ahead
through any obstacles in our way
we always go head strong
cause nothing will ever penetrate this hull (our skulls)
shouting at the top of our lungs

we sail into the storm
no wave will deter us from our course
this is the s.s. bullheaded
and we'll fight to carry on
no need to check our maps
full sail ahead without the wind to our backs
this is the s.s. bullheaded
and we'll fight to carry on

watch what you say
the boys don't take too kindly
to logic these days
just shut your mouth
toss your thoughts and opinions away

cause we don't need any change 'round here
no, we don't need any change 'round here

we sail into the storm
no wave will deter us from our course
this is the s.s. bullheaded
and we'll fight to carry on
no need to check our maps
full sail ahead without the wind to our backs
this is the s.s. bullheaded
and we'll fight to carry on

Friday, February 26, 2016

i have no lungs, and i must breathe

I lay in a delirium,
unsure of the place or time,
only concentrating on the
in
and
out,
pulling at my chest,
spiders spin webs,
thick and tight,
leaving room for nothing else,
trapping themselves,
they cry their chorus,
I listen to the choir
of wailing souls sing their
haunting tune with every
in
and
out,
like I've been buried alive
and the oxygen is
fleeting, each
in
and
out
I take less with me,
my strength wanes
and the cries become louder,
deafening,
in
and
out,
the grim warmth washes over me,
I let myself drift to the will
of the surreal force that
guides me,
in
and
out,
I lay in a delirium,
unsure if I'm still in
a place or time

Monday, February 15, 2016

how 'bout a little consistency?

some days...
you can toss a hair,
I'd swing my knife
splitting it in two
with a great display of
reflexes and coordination

other days...
the hair becomes a lead pipe,
I reach for my knife-
nowhere to be found,
I search through drawers
only to find a ladle
in which I use to clumsily
whack at the pipe
in futility

whore

happy valentine's day to
the pretentious whore
who was bought tonight with
an offering worthy of her approval,
diving into pockets
deep enough to sate her...
temporarily

the whore is empty,
using others to fill
that void within

she creates illusions of a real person
camouflaging herself in their
interests, ideals,
morals- when it suits her,
abandons all of it
when she finds someone else
offering more,
believing she is entitled to it,
repeating the cycle,
always wanting,
never truly finding-
happiness,
herself,
because there is nothing to find,
only a whore in denial

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

existence in time

every year that passes
I become increasingly aware how short our lives are,
a human life-time weighed against it's own legacy, an idea,
the earth, the universe, no time to waste
yet it seems that's all we do,
time is stolen but never given,
it is also a flat circle whatever that means,
a timeless idea that may fade- with time,
check the clock and another minute passes
while more ideas are lost, the ones that stick around
will most likely die way before I do,
others will have eternal lives as long as
there's someone left to remember,
dinosaurs aren't extinct and
the Mexican army still advances on the Alamo,
these impacts resonate but will eventually fade-
in time, everything does,
when the earth collapses and the universe retracts into itself,
maybe we'll be prisoners to this script, doomed
to play all of this out again,
as this all may just be a memory of something
we will never understand
but-
every year that passes
I become increasingly aware...

Sunday, January 31, 2016

with no fruit to bear, I starve

a beautiful grove
forming over time
becoming a home to many
interesting creatures,
some make music with
lovely howls or chirps
while others frolic and dance
to the tune being
an inspiration for any who
would like to tell their
story

this beautiful grove,
unfortunately, has become
infertile,
bearing no sustenance,
the inhabitants of the grove
eventually begin to disappear,
the ones stubborn enough to stay
begin to die

the beautiful grove,
no longer beautiful,
old dried husks
stand naked under
grey skies,
new creatures move in
to feast on the
corpses
whose spirits roam aimlessly,
haunting what was once their
home

this place which was
once an inspiration
booming with life-
has become barren,
its growth stunted,
nothing more now than
a place of death

Saturday, January 16, 2016

fatigue-coated mind

can't seem to shed that
groggy morning feeling,
drifting between
two planes of
consciousness,
never really here
or there,
the gate of my brain
left wide open and now
my thoughts escape me,
the ones that stay make noise
like an out-of-tune instrument,
breaking concentration
even as I write this

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

just listen

warnings fall flat as
pretty words dance off
the tongue,
filling up the air between us
exploding fireworks
bedazzling our eyes
and attention is
deverted

warnings fall flat as
they float through space,
lost,
never finding their
destination,
it has already moved on
ignoring all distress
signals

warnings fall flat as
destiny takes hold of
the weak-willed taking
passenger seat while
allowing any substitute to
take the wheel,
driving to conclusions
and outcomes,
blaming the driver
when there is a
wrong turn

warnings fall flat as
everything that could have
blossomed
now suddenly
wilts,
when the only thing left
is to bury the dead and
move on

Monday, January 11, 2016

call me van helsing

I had two people in my life recently
tell me I'm too hard
on other people,
trying to shake my
ideology, philosophy,
claiming I don't see the
good
in others,
saying I don't give people
the benefit of the doubt,
believing I have a
negative point of view
being ignorant to the fact
they were examples of
my forgiveness,
my leniency

I listened to them,
I tried not to judge too
harshly,
I wanted to work things out with
them,
despite their actions,
their selfishness.
their destructive
rejection,
they expected me to shed my
personal experiences;
my wisdom,
in exchange for convenient lies
they masquerade in,
giving nothing in return,
only taking,
until I had no energy left,
siphoning until I had
nothing more to
give

they were vampiric,
being immune to their charm
they knew I could see
what they were,
I held the only mirror
that bore their reflection,
they could not survive
in the light I cast
without setting themselves
free

in the end,
all three of us were fools
attempting the impossible,
they failed in corrupting me,
I failed in saving them

Saturday, January 9, 2016

the human projection

I saw Gaia once,
behind kaleidoscope walls
sitting in the core
of all we know
holding together the framework,
giving herself
to us

a passing thought as
I look down and see a
footstool with
three Disney princesses
painted on the side,
I think
how a species can be
egotistical
the same as an
individual,
projecting its image onto
everything

then I remember
Gaia;
the beautiful woman
I had seen