Tuesday, July 29, 2014

recurrence

left alone
to face myself tonight,
to reflect once again
on my past,
what have I done?
so much time spent
at bars, wasted on people
who never gave a shit,
it went on too long,
years with absolutely
nothing gained, I regret
every last minute

I guess the difference
with me and most people is
I was fortunate enough
to figure this out
before it was too late,
before I spent a life
in the confusion most
of us are stuck in,
pulled myself out of the
ignorant rut, now I have
peace of mind- sort of

it's hard though,
to really shake everything,
pieces of the past linger
and haunt me, dictating
my actions, my bullheadedness,
feelings of worthlessness,
my paranoia, sometimes
I still feel like
that same old guy
I tried to leave behind,
the one in the group
who feels out of place,
the difference now?
I'm aware of it

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